10 years ago, i was about to have a top 10 hit in the UK, I would then die at 33, then begin my life.

I have seen allot of people recently giving themselves advice on what to do when they are 16, turning back the clock as some sort of healing.  I don't turn back the clock to learn, I see it as a path to where I am today and what a journey I have taken.  10 years ago at this time, I was totally miserable, I looked like I had everything from the outside looking in but I was a mere shell of sadness.  That is what I see and not what I am today.  I was living in the UK travelling the world and had whatever superficial material product that a consumer would want.  Ahhhh, yes, you are right, no love, no loyalty and no honour.  I was a human porthole for someone else s satisfaction.  I today look at the photos and think you poor lost child, and often I see people in the same situation.  There was no way out until I had my window of opportunity, I was told that I would always be nothing without him.
Whenever one of my dear friends break up with their man or girlfriend, I say, GREAT!  This is an opportunity for you to grow and get to know who you are.  I had no say in my life 10 years ago, I was surrounded by 'yes' people, and restricted in every way.  I was a prisoner in my own life and I changed it.  I did not want to be this ridiculous blonde, buxom, bimbo that I was portraying, something they did not plan on, the bimbo had brains.  This is not the biggest learning curve of my life, but it has shown me who I never want to be.  I feel for anyone in the music business or in a situation of fame.  I look at the magazines and they are allot harsher now than they were 10 years ago and I would have been just another statistic.
My path has taken allot of detours and people think I am ashamed of my past.  No, I embrace it, I have come so far and realise that money is just that $$$$$.  People and love is what matter and I am happy to say, I will not indulge myself to feel pity for what I was only embrace the person that is here and now.

Anyone that knows me, this is me eating 4 raw prawns a day and 1/2 a cup of tea.

What a great way to live, NOT!

I always think of Holly Valance saying, "I would rather stick pins in my eyes than be in the music industry".