What makes you feel great and what makes you proud?
After a day of competing 'Yes' competing in Fashions on the Field. I reflect with pride, self acceptance and knowledge. I refuse to be called a celebrity as I find the word hideous and is simply conned from the french word Celbre meaning 'Famous'.
What is fame? Who cares? And why care?
If you are totally unaware of what has happened in the Racing Fashion World, my beautiful Paris Kyne, not only 'Master Milliner' also and most importantly exceptional friend passed of a heart attack. This has been such a shock and tragic loss, it has torn me.
Last week, during Darwin the cup I headed drown my self in fabulous Pearls from the 'Pearl Galleria' and did what I did. Judge and critique ladies presenting themselves beautifully. It is always an honour to judge and I do take my job very seriously. It is the most difficult thing and more nerve racking than being judged.
Today I turned the tables yet again. I walk no higher nor do I walk any lower. We all simply walk and wear what we deem to be fashionable on track. Yesterday I headed to'Barbarella and Swan' a local boutique (as you know I love shopping locally) and tried on an outfit. I felt special and fantastic. This is what all women should embrace. I immediately thought (how do I justify this purchase to my husband), (not really), and thought I am going on stage to show, I can be judged and I don't care and I will stand along side others feeling fantastic.
Well Yes, it is different standing as photographer and then competitor, but I am not breaking the rules and I have every right to stand and compete. In fact, every Australian woman with this competition open to her has this right. I choose to see what the judges see and take myself back a step to really judge constructively and keep it as real as I can.
My beautiful Paris said, it is so difficult to put yourself out there! He is right and it is not about winning. It is about the ability to stand in front of strangers and say I feel good and happy in my own skin. LADIES IF I CAN DO THIS, ANYONE CAN!!!!! Today was hard.
I could not go to another meeting and simply take photographs and affirm others. I had to stand within myself and say, I can affirm myself and stand among everyone and be judged like you. I say to myself, I am OK!
I had mindful ladies and gentlemen enquiring to my well being that was so lovely and I did tear up. Although no tear fell from my eyes. I had ladies snarling at me and saying Why? But is that not up to me to decide??
I control who I am and who I shall be and I copy no one and never make it easy for others to be a carbon copy. So many times we talk about what is in, what is fabulous and who is doing what. The only person that mattered was me standing alone on a stage feeling like crying and getting through my biggest demon. We all cope in different ways.
Ladies and gentlemen who I have judged and I will judge. You are all beautiful and exquisite in your own way and I know you have so many gifts. I do see them.
I don't want you to fit a mould and it is nice to wear a sash at the end of the day, but in the words of my dear friend departed.
“I am the &%^$@)* SASH!”
|Thank you Joh Bailey for this snap.|